Hopelessly Hopeful

Watch the ball drop at midnight (don't know why I always found that phrase hilariously dirty 😉). Get drunk. And groove to...I am going to. Hit it! And Cheers 🍻🥂 (hic! hic! hic!) Happy New Year 🎈🎉🥳🎊🥃

 

Ami Tomake Bhalobasi. Nah.  Te Amo . There. Today, no other language can define this feeling more than Spanish, the official language of Argentina.  But then again, the language of love is universal. Sometimes it's not even spoken. Sometimes it's reflected in your eyes or your smile. Sometimes it's in your small gestures. It is not a Big Bang. Love is often found in moments. And each of those moments make you more beautiful. So, if you are loved, you are beautiful, you are blessed. And, may you remain blessed, always ❤️.

We have both feminine and masculine energies within us. What we need to do is balance them. As humans, our genders doesn't really define us. We are fluid, just different in our physical form.  While I understand my feminine nature and embrace it fully, I don't have much understanding of how to balance the masculine energy. And that's what I want to know. Somehow it's easy to define compassion, kindness, love, softness and giving as a part of being feminine, but how to imbibe authority, freedom, direct and outgoing approach, etc. and create harmony for the masculine?  It's lopsided for now. I do achive it in pockets but I do realise that society has been conditioning us as male and female, and thereby creating a great divide between us. Instead, we should have been made aware that irrespective of our physical bodies, we have both the energies within and when we look beyond the physical, at the energy level, even this distinction of the body blurs completely. When you...

If it helps, I will tell you this  This churn will end one day The pain and hurt that you now feel Will melt away some day Trust yourself Your journey Your path You know the person that you are Don't let them dictate  Taint you more Purge the known  Unlearn them all You are your guide Your one true mentor Surrender to your self  And listen to what you say You are wise beyond your age A soul as old as yore It's time to emerge from your confine To be the sun to your sunshine.

There is a difference between needing someone and wanting someone.  When you need someone, you are leaning on to the person, there is always a dependency. Even for your happiness, you look upto the person. It somehow becomes the other person's responsibility to make you happy. How fair is that? Why burden someone like that. Whereas when you say you want someone, it's because you truly want to be with them. They don't become responsible for your happiness, but you become happy because of the mere fact that they are there. Just their presence makes a difference, no matter where they are or what they do. This want comes from a place of fulfillment.  So, if you truly want someone, tell them, "I am, because you are. This thread connects us, no matter the length, no matter the entanglements. This want is greater than any needs in the world and beyond. That's how much I want you." And see how free you will feel.

As a child, I was lonely. I had questions, millions of them, but had no one to ask them to. I forever felt out of place. There wasn't a single person I could talk to about the constant churn I felt inside.  That's when I found Shiva, not as a God, but as a guide. I started calling him Baba, he is still my Baba, someone who is always watching over me. People may call me delusional, but belief is that, not something one can explain. Then again, I realised at a young age that I can tap into this immense energy. However that realisation also made me thoughtful and sensitive towards others. I could wish for others. Slowly, the realisation dawned that we are not that different after all. Shiva became an integral part of who I am. No, I didn't and still don't worship him in a ritualistic way. I don't go to temple to give him offerings. He is there as a formless being. A cold energy that centers my existence.  Till recently, I saw Shiva as a light form, now, that is transce...

Life is too short to live in regret. It is futile to keep running away from what you truly want to do or get. Don't let mistakes define you. We make them to learn from them and not to just sit around and lament about them for years to come.  I don't like the taste of regret, though I do have many. However, what you need to realise is that regret is just a way of being stuck in your past and an excuse for your refusal to grow. Mehnat lagti hai na, after all, lazy ass! Toh dalo blame regret pe, failure pe. What's the point of your existence? That you are existing because you need to survive. What beyond that? Yes, you might have lived like that before and don't have the might to carry forward again. Question is why? Arey raat gayi, baat gayi... Yes, even serious issues should be rolled into and smoked up. What will you gain by being serious?  I have seen life slipping through my fingers at close quarters this year. And that exactly has taught me there is no point in regre...

For the love of SRK... Growing up in the 90s, we were enamoured by the King of Romance, who captured the heart and soul of every girl with his portrayal of sweet, charismatic and funny, yet dependable guys. Everyone craved for their Rajs and Rahuls. However, reality was distinct. They were characters on the celluloid. You don't meet them in real life, do you? Life is not a Bollywood movie. There is no meeting of the "One". You just meet people, fall in love, fall out of love and fall in love again. But do you really ever meet that "One" person who makes you feel as if you are home? Who aligns with you in a strange fashion, almost as if breathing in sync with you. Who helps you find your peace, the center of your calmness. Yes, it happens, but only on the silver screen.  But what if by some chance or fate, you do get lucky. You do meet the "One" you thought only existed in fiction, would you be able to recognise? And if so, would you be able to embrace ...

My dear 13-year-old-self, I know today has been an important day in your life. Today, you started a journey of a life-long search. I know how scared and confused you felt when you saw something beyond your own face reflected in the mirror. As you whirled and danced to a tune unknown and suddenly stopped in front of the mirror, you saw yourself, and all of a sudden, you asked, “Who am I?” That one question opened a pandora’s box for you. Something beyond recognition told you that there is so much more to life than the one that is being projected in the world. You saw a glimpse of it. And, once you did, you couldn’t un-see it. It got etched into your memory forever.   Dear darling, I know at this point in time you are more worried about your Maths scores, your English essays and your secret first crush. Let me tell you, you will work really hard to score well in Maths and you will become an editor too. As for that crush, gosh girl, you have some really crazy taste in guys. He w...

Let's call her S. I have known her since she was three. I was the one to get her addicted to books. Gifted them to her on every occasion and non-occasions too. These days, I always see her with some or the other book in her hands. She finishes at least two of them in a week. It reminds me that I was just like her once, a bookworm, who permanently had a book glued to her nose. Read while I ate, while I travelled and almost always fell asleep while reading each night. Now, I hardly pick up a book. I read what is necessary for me to read. It is always about work.  However, what S reminds me the most is of my young idealistic self. Today, as she talked about her projects and college, she said that she wants to change her specialization for her Masters. She was always focused on wanting to study food and nutrition, and I keep encouraging her to apply outside India. I know her spark will shine bright if given the right opportunity. Today, she surprised me by saying, "Since the time ...

 Another spoken word poetry... 

There is a strange sense of freedom. I am finally understanding and reclaiming myself, that too not slowly, but leaping forward. I am making up for the lost time, you see. So much lost in so much drama, lies, regret when everything could have been so simple, so easy. Then again, I don't think I would have ever reached where I am today without all that pain, mistakes and struggle. I would have never realised or valued everything that I lost. I guess going through what I was served was the only way out - to finally meet up with that one true self of mine. And when I did find myself standing at the doorstep, I felt so much joy that I embraced my self with open arms.  I am not letting myself go away anymore. I want to live, and live to the fullest. Each day is beautiful and even I don't know what I will be upto the next moment. Let life unfold itself, I am ready to create my share of happiness.

Attempted to narrate spoken word poetry for the first time ever. Looking forward to brickbats and bouquets. *Sarcasm alert*  The poem is a treatise based on generic human behaviour. Written & Narrated by Asha Dey

Your questions remain unanswered As the debate is dead Your words are unpolished As the finesse is gone Your eyes refuse to see As the truth is no longer blunt Your speech is unfinished As the rebel has lost the cause   Your spark doesn't brighten the world As the will is in slumber Your fight for your causes waned As the naivety got crushed Your love is within bounds As the soul has lost its friend Your laughter always has a reason As no one dares to say what they want to say   At times the self rebels Rears its head To tell you That It is there As is Buried somewhere Under the pile of words Which were once spoken Once heard   Now There is only silence.

No matter what you do, you will end up making mistakes, sometimes grievous. Simply because of the fact that you are human. Your desires, ego, flaws, emotions et al often create a concoction that is dangerously lopsided. It robs you of your logic, and you end up doing exactly what you were avoiding to do for so long.  You falter, and as you falter, you keep falling into the endless rabbit hole. Unlike Alice, you refuse to explore the world you were thrown into. You just keep your eyes shut and shroud yourself with the darkness. That becomes your reality. But, is that fair? Are you doing justice to the immense potential that you have inside you? Is that ok to penalize yourself lifelong for a mistake that no longer makes any sense?  Enough of the inertia. Get up, brush yourself and step into the light. It's time to shine. 

Do you sometimes feel as if you are a spectator of your own life? As if your life is being shown on the big screen and you are merely watching it pass each moment. Interestingly, there are no theatrics, no Dolby sound, no background music. It is just a raw canvas depicting the running event of your life.  You watch it in awe, at times you cringe at your own stupidity. You know you could have done better. As each passing moment becomes an immediate past, you often regret your various decisions and indecisions. And sometimes you watch it pass without any passion. You feel so non-attached that it robs you of all your emotions.  You just wait for the end credits to roll. Years ago when I had met my maternal grandmother, just before her death, I had felt a sense of boredom in her voice and saw her clear eyes that had not reflected any emotions, yet they were so deep. She had a strange sense of being free. A pious lady, she had dedicated her life to her spiritual quest. However, she...

Sometimes I feel as if we are running a race, a rat race, but of a different kind.  Besides aiming to achieve personal and professional goals, these days, people are racing to find their spiritual destinations as well. They may listen to something, read something and all of a sudden they are a pile of something, which results into nothing! As if the mind becomes a recycle bin, storing all sorts of discarded items, but is never emptied. Instead, the garbage keeps piling up, day-after-day, year-after-year, endlessly, without purpose. No, I am not going to make anyone aware of their garbage. If they can't smell their own stink, I doubt I will ever be able to make them see the source. Not my job. Though, it becomes their job to "educate" me about their accumulated garbage. They tell me how "spiritual" they are, how fantastic their "journey" had been and how I also, like them, can "achieve" spirituality.  Mostly, I don't say anything. However,...

As you become aware of yourself, you gain insight of how to handle your emotions or rather your reactions to various situations.  Just the other day, I got into a situation wherein I was about to react angrily. However, as I was about to react, I stopped at my track, analysed that there won't be any positive outcome of my reaction. That moment, the anger vanished. I didn't react at all. I let that moment pass, and surely I retained my peace of mind.  It's as simple as that really. Ninety percent of the time we are reacting to others, what they say and do. Our interactions with others usually are based on this action-reaction dynamics.  Only, and if only, we look beyond this dynamic, we will have some meaningful conversations or even frivolous ones. Who cares? As long as you can be yourself and have an open conversation with the other person without any judgment or reaction, nothing else really matters.  Go talk. Open your heart. Just keep a check on your reactions.

It's weird isn't it or maybe logical.  We love our pet dogs knowing that they won't be with us for long. We want to squeeze in so much love, affection and compassion in the decade or so that they are with us. And they love us unconditionally, always being faithful and loyal.  Is that because as humans we are aware of how short this companionship will be? So, we try to make the most out of it. However, by that logic, the dog doesn't know how long he has, he just loves, not really caring about how long he will be alive. That leaves us with two questions. Will we humans love each other in the same way as we love our pets, without pretention, if we had a shorter life expectancy as well? Then again, any mortal life is unpredictable, it may shorten at any point. Knowing that, then why isn't it that we love unconditionally and live without a care each day? It is a twisted fate of irony that we are given enough life to think that we have enough time to do what we want to, b...

I have a list – the "don't care" list. Some people are not worth your time, not even for your hatred. I have a policy, if they breach certain criteria (set by using some stupid old-fashioned moral compass), I put them on this list wherein I don't care if they live or die. For me, they simply cease to exist in my life. As condescending as it may sound, it helps in gaining some peace in your life. People are generally tedious, and dealing with them on a day-to-day basis, putting on a mask, is exasperating. At times, I want to shut myself from this din of the world. Then again, you cannot survive alone. You need people, and no matter how tiresome they get, you still need to interact with them in a cordial manner. Guess that makes me a hypocrite too. My need for warmth and security makes me hide my vulnerable self. They tell me I cannot be a mess. I need to be strong, independent and follow the dictum of the society. Problem is, the real me never allows me to do that....

Do you feel happy at times for no apparent reason? It's weird, but true. Sometimes the eyes twinkle and the lips curve into a mischievous smile and you have no clue of the source. It could be a song in your playlist or the rain drizzling in your balcony or maybe your dog poking his nose on your hands to get a head scratch. Or maybe, you are just happy, just happy. So, let the music play, and be happy, always. 😊

Here's an idea I am throwing open to the universe. We have unique issues and challenges, often localised to a particular area. While government agencies or NGOs often try to resolve them as per their set solutions, what they miss out is the need to look at each issue as a unique challenge which needs equally unique solution. Also, consultation with the local populace who are facing the challenge is important. Maybe, they themselves have a solution to overcome the challenge but may not have the ways and means to implement it. If only someone listens to them, and arranges for experts / volunteers from that particular field to help resolve the issue in collaboration with the local community. Can we have an open platform that allows people / community representatives to list their local issues and challenges, with probable solutions? Thereafter, an AI analyses the issue, the probable solutions and searches for more solutions. These could also be solutions that have been successfully ...

There was a time when I searched for answers in various religious places and spiritual centers. I travelled all over the country to understand if I could gain some insights that could soothe my soul, make me calm and less disoriented. Whenever I visited any of these places, I felt peaceful, calm. I was grounded. There wasn’t any confusion, noise or anxiety. Each place had a different energy, and at each place I reacted in a different manner. I cried and shed some silent tears at Golden Temple . The energy was as cool as the sharovar (lake). I could not feel Krishna when I went to Badrinath Temple . Yet, I could sense his energy higher up in the Himalayas – someone else, who dabbles in energy, confirmed this. I knew I could wish for something at Manikaran Gurudwara , but didn’t feel like it. I felt overwhelming sadness as I listened to the live qawwalis at Hazrat Nizamuddin Dargah . Then there was a time when I dabbled in Buddhism. Not that I could imbibe everything, there were...

Do you want to know how it feels when you surrender yourself completely and fully commit to something? There is an indescribable sense of peace and calm, as you focus on that one particular area. This could be your work, ambition, goals, spiritual journey or wanting to find yourself. The key is to surrender. And, that’s tough. How do you go about surrendering unconditionally when your brain is buzzing with thousands of questions? Years ago, one of my mentors had told me that it would take me more time to find myself as compared to other people, as I was too full of questions and unless I surrendered completely I wouldn’t find what I was looking for. I didn’t understand him then, but over the years I realized what he meant. Often our intellectual mind clouds our vision and we can’t even perceive a simple fact without trying to dissect it with numerous theories. We don’t jump, we just sit on the edge and keep looking at the water, analyzing and re-analyzing, while a simple person m...

They say I am free But am I Is my will my own Or is that pre-destined? If I can choose Can I choose whatever I want to Or are they saying You may but cannot? Is freedom an oxymoron  Granted with conditional access Or is it boundless  Like the air we breathe? We can be a choice for someone Yet, we are not a choice for ourselves If freedom is a choice Will you choose you? Will, destiny, choices May just be words In a place where we all meet Where we are free, after all.

So you try and do something good for someone, and it backfires, what do you do? You genuinely want to give an opportunity to a person and hope that the person benefits out of it, but circumstances dictate otherwise and you are left in a lurch. Of course, the person at the other end is hurt and disappointed, but what you are not ready for is their uncalled for reaction. And yet, after all the unpalatable things, you still don't think for yourself but feel bad for the other person. You don't feel bad for yourself, but genuinely feel bad for the hurt that the person is going through. You understand their pain and hurt, and somehow the pain that they are causing you doesn't matter. My question is should it matter? Is there something being called too kind or too compassionate? Can you actually expand yourself so much that you can also absorb someone else's hurt, no matter how ego-centric that was, in you overlooking your own? Should you actually do it? Is it even healthy? Ne...

I love to sleep. Any spare time goes into napping. In fact, my entire family loves to sleep, including my dog Mojo. We are one sleep-loving family, which includes not just the immediate members, but also the extended clan. If there is ever a competition for sleeping for the most number of hours, my family will win it hands down. Of course, we have some famous sleep-related stories too, which are often re-told at family gatherings. Favourite one being, how my father and uncle missed their train, as they decided to take a nap before catching the evening train. What makes the incident funnier is that at that time we used to live almost 10 minutes walking distance from the railway station! So, my dad and uncle decided that they can time their nap in such a manner that they should be able to walk to the station with enough time to spare. They overslept and by the time they reached the over-bridge, they saw the train leaving the station. Then we have a cousin of mine who is so famous for...

Wished a sister of mine on her birthday, who ruefully mentioned that she has turned 39! Pointed out to her, being the wiser elder one, that next year she will be joining the 40-club and told her it’s time to become wiser 😃. That didn’t go down well though. Guess, standing at that boundary-line of about to cross into mid-life and suddenly realizing you are not so young, and yet young enough, must be a scary proposition. Plus, the responsibility of young children, aged parents and in-laws, while wanting to cash-on in the prime years at workplace, must be daunting tasks as well. We don’t give enough credit to people in their 40s. They are the ones who are holding on to everything, trying to maintain a balance between family, work and friends. They are completely stressed out and never get much appreciation for what they do. In fact, as per everyone else, they are either not doing enough or doing everything wrong. By the time you are in your 40s, they expect you to be sorted and wise....

We want something X-tra (extra) in our lives. That X factor is what we crave for, whether wanting an extraordinary job, extra loving partner, extra-large house, extra-fab holidays… everything has to be in excess. Then only we are somewhat satiated with our lives, or at least have a superior feeling of having more than our peers. This extra becomes so nauseating that often we get obsessed to have the best for us. We want to beat everyone and rule the world (at least, the bubble world we have created). At times, we feel we deserve it. Then there are some who follow those people, who as per their perception have extraordinary lives. They believe that these are the guys who are sorted and are the top crop, the crème de la crème of society. They want to be a part of that ‘cool’ circle and are prepared to do anything to feel ‘included’. Point is, is that worth it? If you ask me, I like who I am. Maybe, those extras are not for me. They do help me earn my living, but let them be there...

I am not a winter lover. I cannot stand the cold, dry and sun-less season, where I am just trying to forever keep myself warm with copious amount of soups, coffees and warm water. I get really whinny and just don’t feel like doing any work. Delhi is famous for its ‘Dilli ki saardi’ (Delhi’s winter). Don’t understand what’s so famous about it. It’s just cold, that’s all. The worst part is the sunless days, and then some day it starts drizzling. Imagine cold plus rain. Ruins the entire experience of rains completely, which, by the way, is beautiful in Delhi. I had written the below some years ago as an ode to winters. It captures my apt emotions for the season. Hope you guys like it.  And hey, any winter haters here?

Music is the only thing that makes any sense in this world. It just takes you to a place that is amazingly your own. Each song has a different meaning for a different person. Every song has its own mood. Then there are songs that are so powerful that it gives voice to some unspoken words or motivate the voiceless to speak up. Here’s a list of some of my favorite songs with a voice: Bol by Shafqat Amanat Ali Khan Coke Studio version . It’s an ode to the empowering poem of Faiz Ahmad Faiz. Bol, ye thora waqt bahut hai,  Jism o zabaan ki maut se pahle;  Bol, ke sach zinda hai ab tak – Bol, jo kuchh kahna hai kah-le!   What powerful lines. It literally translates to: Speak, this little time is plenty I   Before the death of body and tongue: I  Speak, for truth is alive-  Speak, say whatever is to be said. Heer toh badi sad hai from Tamasha movie . All the songs in this movie are beautiful, but this one is unique. A sad love ballad on a peppy tu...

Do you believe in the concept of universe? Do you put your thoughts and intentions out to the universe and then wait for the magic to happen? Is there really some cosmic energy that helps in realizing what you truly wish for? Ever since reading Rhonda Byrne’s The Secret, more than a decade ago, the mind found a new ‘deity’, so as to say, to ask for things and wishes to be fulfilled. Maybe, as this vast universe could somehow be equated with the universal universe out there and the terms energy and cosmos sound logical, there is a tendency to believe in this formless universe. Somehow the lack of a form adds to the mystery and everyone is free to conceive universe as per their own convenience. The concept is modern, without the boundaries of rituals. However, does that work or is it again a figment of our imagination to help us feel being taken care of by a higher up authority? Skipping through the entire intention part of it, as I close my eyes, all I can see is a vast cosmos, and ...

How do we know whom to trust and whom not to? Is that instinctive or do we learn on the fly? Some people, who seem nice initially, often turn out to be backstabbers. How do we discern between such people? Trust is a relative term to actually describe the state-of-mind of a person. What is the person thinking? What are his / her circumstances? What is their behavioral pattern? Are they following a pattern that they have accustomed themselves with while growing up? I have observed, usually a person breaks trust due to some underlying motivations. Some of the common denominators are greed, envy, anger and lust. These people might not be bad, but they are just motivated to act upon their strong urges. If they can rein themselves in, they can do great work. They, however, give in to their human frailty. Anyway, back to the original query. How do we know whom to trust and whom not to? I guess, we will never know. There isn’t any inbuilt radar that can tell us if a person is trustworthy...

I am not much of a secret keeper. If I know something, I would usually tell someone else about it, unless it is too sensitive or if the other person has told me explicitly not to pass on the information. Funny, how this ‘don’t tell anyone else’ thing work. Usually the person telling you this is the one who goes around telling everyone about that particular piece of information, and before you know it, everyone knows! There was a time when I knew almost everything about everyone. I used to make extra effort to talk to people. I knew about their struggles, fears and issues. I offered as much help as I could. I just knew too much. And, that became tedious after a while. Listening to the same old tales got annoying, especially at times when I started witnessing similar pattern. Some just kept repeating the cycle. It was the same mistake, the same desire and thus, the same outcome. If they were refusing to learn, who was I to do anything about it? I decided to take a walk from this hu...

Does love solve everything? Can it be the ultimate answer? Does it make even difficult situations and problems easy? Dumbledore famously told Harry, “You are protected, in short, by your ability to love!” reminding him of the power of love. So, does love really protect us? Is it as powerful as it is talked about? We have had poets and authors writing lyrical ballads and novels on this particular topic. Philosophers, psychologists and even scientists are forever trying to decode the mystery behind this oxytocin-producing emotion. No one really knows what love is. It is just a very strong feeling that helps in making some sense of this world. It makes you bond with others – your family, friends, spouse, children, beloved et al. It makes you feel less alienated and somehow gives you a reason to live. You do things in the name of love, it is a potent motivator. It is a kind of glue that is loosely sticking us together to help us navigate our time on this planet. It’s gooey, it’s me...

Que sera, sera Whatever will be, will be The future's not ours to see Que sera, sera What will be, will be I heard this song as a child and was instantly drawn towards its beautiful music and the simple, yet powerful lyrics. I didn’t understand much of it, but I loved to hum it.   Later in life, another quote took prominence. A sloka from the holy text Bhagavad Gita – karm kiye ja, phal ki chinta mat kar – which roughly translates to – focus on your work/action, don’t think of the result/outcome. That became my mantra , and at times it did help me in excelling in a lot of areas. When you work without expectations, without putting too much stress on gaining something out of a particular activity, you are practically doing something without putting pressure of winning on yourself. That’s a great way of living.   However, your intent needs to be honest, and you need to put all your efforts in your work. You may not be expecting some grand result, but don’t cut corn...

Most people desire a picture perfect life, a life that has all the ingredients of happiness, health, wealth and success. Mostly, this picture is linked with material gains, the bigger the possession, the better the picture. And then that’s what it is, picture perfect, worthy of being shared on social media. However, is that what it is? Is life supposed to be picture perfect? Are we not imperfect in our own ways and should we not celebrate our imperfectness? The moment we desire perfectness, six sigma-level performances, we are somehow setting ourselves for failure. Human beings are not machines and we are not in an assembly unit, which requires certain specifications for producing a quality product. We are in a fragile shell (body) with an equally fragile interior (emotions). We cannot aim for perfection. But, can we aim for balance, instead? Try to be still within. I try, and often fail. At times, I am still, in harmony with my inner being, and then, some irritant and the mult...

Some people get offended very easily. Anything and everything offends them. Why? Some have fragile ego. They live inside their flimsy bubbles and even a slightest of outside force exposes their delicate self to the world. It is tough to always remain diplomatic around everyone. Sometimes, you do want to deal with people with utmost transparency, but that’s not really an option, is it? I take time to get offended. Sometimes, even if someone is deliberately trying to offend me, I may simply choose to ignore it and try to understand why that person is saying such a thing, maybe some deep-rooted hurt is making him/her say that. It’s always about giving a benefit of doubt to the other person. Maybe, they are judgmental or racist or rude because they dealt with something worse in their lives or they didn’t have an alternative environment to compare their lives with. I have been told so many worse things in my life, some on my face and some behind my back. A look at those smug faces, and ...

Are mothers always a blessing? Is there a truth behind this overtly used quote circulated on social media, “God could not be everywhere, and therefore he made mothers”? Maybe, we need to see them from the fresh perspective of mothers being human. Let’s take them a notch down from that pedestal of an ‘all-sacrificing’ woman, and view her objectively. She is foremost, a human being and then a woman and thereafter, if she chooses to be, she becomes a mother. Yes, while being human or a woman is not a choice for her, being mother definitely is something she chooses to be. Mothers are necessity for procreating and advancing the human race. However, given the current global population, maybe it would be better to put a stop to having more children, and maybe, it would be a good idea to care for the unfortunate ones. Or maybe it’s just me. The IVF industry is a living proof after all! Anyway, original question – are mothers always a blessing? Let’s break some myths: -    ...

I have never been good at expressing my emotions or even acknowledging other people’s emotions, for that matter. I think it has to do with how I shield myself and get into the cocoon of my own world, afraid of being hurt or being abused. It might be oddly comforting to be nonchalant rather than express what you are really feeling at that moment. Or maybe, growing up, no one really knew how to handle my emotions and everyone might have just settled into a rhythm of zero emotions from my end. I am always the calm one at home, with friends and family, the negotiator, the listener, the problem solver. But when I am the one needing help, I often struggle to ask for one. Even if I am offered, I don’t like to take it up, because somewhere down the line I know that help is not for free, there will be strings attached to it.   I could see people for who they are. I can read their intentions. Previously, it used to bother me, not so much now. Now, I see them dance in their own pool of ...

I am dramatic. I love drama. Anything larger than life, I am game. Maybe that's partly because my entire family loves drama too, literally. I mean my great-grandfather, grandfather, father, uncles, cousins and even my sister-in-law have acted in local plays. My father is still an integral part of a drama group in Delhi's Bengali society. Guess I get my creative gene from them.    Yes, I do love simple things in life - the sunsets, rain, smell of the earth post the rainfall, the Amaltas laden Delhi roads, the moon, the stars - they all soothe my soul, especially in moments when I wish to be with myself. It feels as if these are part of me, it's a strange homecoming to be one with these beautiful elements of nature.    Then again, there is life and it gets pretty boring without any drama in it, don’t you agree?    I think, a family-reunion does not count to be a reunion unless there is one relative who becomes a party-pooper and tells everyone off for e...

I wanted to avoid writing about this topic, but the early morning visuals from NYC is churning my insides. The grief, anger and sadness that I have been hoarding up somehow needs an unbridled outlet.  The past couple of months had only been filled with human misery, with televised war footages, screaming about useless killing of hundreds of people in Ukraine. The heartbreaking images of children crying in the ruins or desperate people becoming refuges with unknown fate make me look at with utter shame at the failings of the human race. We are supposed to be intelligent. Violence is our show of intelligence, is it? What one-upmanship are we going to attain by any of these? Then again, who are we arguing with? Bunch of powerful idiots who think killing people is the only way to get some supreme power or doing 'God's work'.  This same template is being repeated everywhere. Some gets highlighted, for obvious political gains, and some are brushed under the carpet, again for obvi...