Remembrance

Life is always serving us sucker punches, knocking us out of breath. The bravery is not in going through it, but actually to stand at your life's wreckage all alone and tell yourself that now you need to re-build it, knowing full well that the next storm may wreck it all over. However, the first storm does teach us how to build our house a bit more efficiently, a bit more robust. And, somehow, over the period, we learn to be resilient, and make our houses so strong that it can withstand any storm. But, to do that, you need to start re-building, because if you don't, the next storm will consume you, and that surely will be a waste of a beautiful human life, isn't it? Life sucks at times, but then, that's what it is. Being resilient despite the varied challenges of life is what makes it worth living.  If you are tired, listen to this peppy number. I love mashups. And hey, music is the only substitute for rain and chocolates.

The power of "Now", this present moment is immense. If we can identify that, and most importantly, live in the moment, in a mindful manner, I guess, we are sorted.  Easier said than done.  A few days ago, heard the viral video of Tom Hanks talking about how time could be our ally and all we need to know is that everything is transient, and whether good or bad, "This too shall pass". So, if life is a bitter-sweet journey, and nothing will last forever, even good times, then holding on the past or hoping for a future doesn't do justice to the present time. Plus, what is gone is gone, and what is yet to come may or may not, then what's the point of thinking of the past or the future. What we have at present is what matters.  It took me time, but these days, if life gives me curve balls, I try to dodge them, and if I get hit, then I sit there for a while till the pain subsides somewhat and then again start the journey. Similarly, if life hands me my favorite hot...

Can guilt be a good thing? Think from this perspective, if I am going to do something and that makes me feel guilty, maybe that's not something I should do, right? It could, of course, depend on the perspective or situation, but at times guilt could be a pole to keep our moral compass under check.  Where is this coming from? Someone told me today about certain community which is profiting from the war that is being waged in the European continent by selling scraps. I cannot be explicit, because last time I did that Google sent me a warning mail. Yes, free speech is a fancy term. Point is, there is a not a shred of guilt or morality that these people possess, or maybe I am too old fashioned. It might just be okay to grab every opportunity to make money, who am I to judge? It's just, I don't like it. Maybe, if they had a guilty conscious, they might have thought before doing something like that. In fact, most people wouldn't have done half of the deplorable things that th...

Cheating What will you do if your partner cheats on you? Would you walk out of the relationship or forgive them and give it another shot?  To each their own. Sometimes, it is a spur-of-a-moment attraction and sometimes it's a carefully planned lie. How does one discern which is what and whether one is supposedly "better" than the other? At times, situations take precedence for your decision more than your self-respect and value. Somehow, instead of facing the eye-of-the-storm, if the approach is to run away from the impending storm, then you will forever try to outrun the storm without any success.  Isn't it then better to face the situation head-on. See the spade for the spade and do what is best for you. Often, things are not simple, but then again, sometimes, we make them too complicated.  Life is delicate and even a single blow of deception can shatter it to pieces. It's how we live, how we love, that's what will ever matter.  Despite being a sensitive top...

Be Bold. Always. That's the mantra to live the way you want to or else others will start dictating the terms of your own life to you. They will be soon in the driving seat, and you won't even be asked for navigation. You are literally giving away your power, your life to someone else. How foolish is that? If you don't like something, be bold enough to say you don't like it. Have the courage to refuse to do things that you don't want to. Else you will end up doing things that you don't want to do. And, even start hearing others complain how you are not doing the thing that you didn't even want to do properly! Save yourself from all that unnecessary pressure. Just be bold and say, "NO", loud and clear. Time and again we are presented with certain opportunities in life - better career prospects, lifestyle, life partner et al. - and time and again we refuse to take the plunge, for the fear of unknown, fear of taking risk, and sometimes, innate guilt of...

For this year's AtoZ challenge, I am planning to focus on various emotions, feelings, quality, phrases or situations in life and end the post with a song that I feel may evoke that particular emotion/word/phrase. Usually, I have written with the flow, but this time, I want to push myself. Let's see where this heads towards :) Acceptance.   Isn't this the most important, yet the most difficult thing to do in life? It is tough to accept ourselves and each other as we are, to look beyond our biases and insecurities, and even to accept certain situations in life.  While our first reaction to difficult situations in life mostly is denial, it takes us time to reach to a stage of accepting the eventualities and thereafter look for solutions or moving beyond the situation. Acceptance is almost never the first reaction, and it is understandable. For us, survival is the key and the fight, flight or freeze response is our way of tackling with an issue at that particular moment. If onl...

We live in a crazy world. Let’s be crazy diamonds, the ones that are crystalized from the immense pressure of being alive! Shine no, crazy diamonds.

Here's another spoken word poetry. Loving them...

My dear 13-year-old-self, I know today has been an important day in your life. Today, you started a journey of a life-long search. I know how scared and confused you felt when you saw something beyond your own face reflected in the mirror. As you whirled and danced to a tune unknown and suddenly stopped in front of the mirror, you saw yourself, and all of a sudden, you asked, “Who am I?” That one question opened a pandora’s box for you. Something beyond recognition told you that there is so much more to life than the one that is being projected in the world. You saw a glimpse of it. And, once you did, you couldn’t un-see it. It got etched into your memory forever.   Dear darling, I know at this point in time you are more worried about your Maths scores, your English essays and your secret first crush. Let me tell you, you will work really hard to score well in Maths and you will become an editor too. As for that crush, gosh girl, you have some really crazy taste in guys. He w...

 Another spoken word poetry... 

Attempted to narrate spoken word poetry for the first time ever. Looking forward to brickbats and bouquets. *Sarcasm alert*  The poem is a treatise based on generic human behaviour. Written & Narrated by Asha Dey

Your questions remain unanswered As the debate is dead Your words are unpolished As the finesse is gone Your eyes refuse to see As the truth is no longer blunt Your speech is unfinished As the rebel has lost the cause   Your spark doesn't brighten the world As the will is in slumber Your fight for your causes waned As the naivety got crushed Your love is within bounds As the soul has lost its friend Your laughter always has a reason As no one dares to say what they want to say   At times the self rebels Rears its head To tell you That It is there As is Buried somewhere Under the pile of words Which were once spoken Once heard   Now There is only silence.

No matter what you do, you will end up making mistakes, sometimes grievous. Simply because of the fact that you are human. Your desires, ego, flaws, emotions et al often create a concoction that is dangerously lopsided. It robs you of your logic, and you end up doing exactly what you were avoiding to do for so long.  You falter, and as you falter, you keep falling into the endless rabbit hole. Unlike Alice, you refuse to explore the world you were thrown into. You just keep your eyes shut and shroud yourself with the darkness. That becomes your reality. But, is that fair? Are you doing justice to the immense potential that you have inside you? Is that ok to penalize yourself lifelong for a mistake that no longer makes any sense?  Enough of the inertia. Get up, brush yourself and step into the light. It's time to shine. 

Do you sometimes feel as if you are a spectator of your own life? As if your life is being shown on the big screen and you are merely watching it pass each moment. Interestingly, there are no theatrics, no Dolby sound, no background music. It is just a raw canvas depicting the running event of your life.  You watch it in awe, at times you cringe at your own stupidity. You know you could have done better. As each passing moment becomes an immediate past, you often regret your various decisions and indecisions. And sometimes you watch it pass without any passion. You feel so non-attached that it robs you of all your emotions.  You just wait for the end credits to roll. Years ago when I had met my maternal grandmother, just before her death, I had felt a sense of boredom in her voice and saw her clear eyes that had not reflected any emotions, yet they were so deep. She had a strange sense of being free. A pious lady, she had dedicated her life to her spiritual quest. However, she...

I have a list – the "don't care" list. Some people are not worth your time, not even for your hatred. I have a policy, if they breach certain criteria (set by using some stupid old-fashioned moral compass), I put them on this list wherein I don't care if they live or die. For me, they simply cease to exist in my life. As condescending as it may sound, it helps in gaining some peace in your life. People are generally tedious, and dealing with them on a day-to-day basis, putting on a mask, is exasperating. At times, I want to shut myself from this din of the world. Then again, you cannot survive alone. You need people, and no matter how tiresome they get, you still need to interact with them in a cordial manner. Guess that makes me a hypocrite too. My need for warmth and security makes me hide my vulnerable self. They tell me I cannot be a mess. I need to be strong, independent and follow the dictum of the society. Problem is, the real me never allows me to do that....

Do you feel happy at times for no apparent reason? It's weird, but true. Sometimes the eyes twinkle and the lips curve into a mischievous smile and you have no clue of the source. It could be a song in your playlist or the rain drizzling in your balcony or maybe your dog poking his nose on your hands to get a head scratch. Or maybe, you are just happy, just happy. So, let the music play, and be happy, always. 😊

There was a time when I searched for answers in various religious places and spiritual centers. I travelled all over the country to understand if I could gain some insights that could soothe my soul, make me calm and less disoriented. Whenever I visited any of these places, I felt peaceful, calm. I was grounded. There wasn’t any confusion, noise or anxiety. Each place had a different energy, and at each place I reacted in a different manner. I cried and shed some silent tears at Golden Temple . The energy was as cool as the sharovar (lake). I could not feel Krishna when I went to Badrinath Temple . Yet, I could sense his energy higher up in the Himalayas – someone else, who dabbles in energy, confirmed this. I knew I could wish for something at Manikaran Gurudwara , but didn’t feel like it. I felt overwhelming sadness as I listened to the live qawwalis at Hazrat Nizamuddin Dargah . Then there was a time when I dabbled in Buddhism. Not that I could imbibe everything, there were...

I love to sleep. Any spare time goes into napping. In fact, my entire family loves to sleep, including my dog Mojo. We are one sleep-loving family, which includes not just the immediate members, but also the extended clan. If there is ever a competition for sleeping for the most number of hours, my family will win it hands down. Of course, we have some famous sleep-related stories too, which are often re-told at family gatherings. Favourite one being, how my father and uncle missed their train, as they decided to take a nap before catching the evening train. What makes the incident funnier is that at that time we used to live almost 10 minutes walking distance from the railway station! So, my dad and uncle decided that they can time their nap in such a manner that they should be able to walk to the station with enough time to spare. They overslept and by the time they reached the over-bridge, they saw the train leaving the station. Then we have a cousin of mine who is so famous for...

Wished a sister of mine on her birthday, who ruefully mentioned that she has turned 39! Pointed out to her, being the wiser elder one, that next year she will be joining the 40-club and told her it’s time to become wiser 😃. That didn’t go down well though. Guess, standing at that boundary-line of about to cross into mid-life and suddenly realizing you are not so young, and yet young enough, must be a scary proposition. Plus, the responsibility of young children, aged parents and in-laws, while wanting to cash-on in the prime years at workplace, must be daunting tasks as well. We don’t give enough credit to people in their 40s. They are the ones who are holding on to everything, trying to maintain a balance between family, work and friends. They are completely stressed out and never get much appreciation for what they do. In fact, as per everyone else, they are either not doing enough or doing everything wrong. By the time you are in your 40s, they expect you to be sorted and wise....

We want something X-tra (extra) in our lives. That X factor is what we crave for, whether wanting an extraordinary job, extra loving partner, extra-large house, extra-fab holidays… everything has to be in excess. Then only we are somewhat satiated with our lives, or at least have a superior feeling of having more than our peers. This extra becomes so nauseating that often we get obsessed to have the best for us. We want to beat everyone and rule the world (at least, the bubble world we have created). At times, we feel we deserve it. Then there are some who follow those people, who as per their perception have extraordinary lives. They believe that these are the guys who are sorted and are the top crop, the crème de la crème of society. They want to be a part of that ‘cool’ circle and are prepared to do anything to feel ‘included’. Point is, is that worth it? If you ask me, I like who I am. Maybe, those extras are not for me. They do help me earn my living, but let them be there...