Remembrance

I am not an addiction for you, Nor a toxic waste, I am the oxygen that you breathe.

Does love solve everything? Can it be the ultimate answer? Does it make even difficult situations and problems easy? Dumbledore famously told Harry, “You are protected, in short, by your ability to love!” reminding him of the power of love. So, does love really protect us? Is it as powerful as it is talked about? We have had poets and authors writing lyrical ballads and novels on this particular topic. Philosophers, psychologists and even scientists are forever trying to decode the mystery behind this oxytocin-producing emotion. No one really knows what love is. It is just a very strong feeling that helps in making some sense of this world. It makes you bond with others – your family, friends, spouse, children, beloved et al. It makes you feel less alienated and somehow gives you a reason to live. You do things in the name of love, it is a potent motivator. It is a kind of glue that is loosely sticking us together to help us navigate our time on this planet. It’s gooey, it’s me...

It's not always what happens to you. Sometimes, it is what happens to others. That's when you analyze how it impacted you or others associated with you. Sometimes you can see people truly for who they are at the most tragic turn of events. In that intense moment of agony and uncertainty, you actually gauge them. Funnily, they don't even try to hide it from you. They blatantly tell you. The cockiness of it all.  The converse is also true. At that moment, you also realize who you internally are. No matter the masks you put on or try to suppress yourself in cold indifference, in that moment that matters, you become who you are. That one core self never leaves you. It rears its head, from that small gash that had never stopped bleeding and may never stop, as it is right across the place that throbs with life giving energy.  When you care too much, you love too much. 

I always had wings, and therefore, the reason to fly. Though, I wished for roots, the ground was never right. It was either too dry or too marshy. How would they have helped me grow? I couldn't anchor myself there, even when I tried. The roots refused to grow, they kept shrinking in itself, prompting the wings to take a flight, again and again. And then, I found a nice patch, semi-green with enough water to sustain myself. The ground was welcoming. It let me settle there nicely. I liked the view, I grew comfortable, actually too comfortable to notice that I was drying out the very essence of the ground. It gave away one day. And, I thought maybe it was time to find another ground. As I prepared to flutter my wings again, I noticed a small root sprouting from my feet. It surprised me so much that I unknowingly grounded myself, and the magic unfolded. The root had finally found a ground to grow, and it refused to stop. It went deep within the ground to its very core, and hal...

Kuch dhundlayi hui si yaadoo mein kuch khojne ki koshish, har baar us ek modh par le ati hain jiska zikr na tum karna cahate ho na mein. Phir kyu, roz hum yeh socchte hain, ki kuch toh hain, un dhundlayi hui si yaadoo mein... Aur kabhi yuin hi, bina daastak diye, har us baat ka zikr ho jata hai jinhe humne ek bare se sandook mein samet ke rakha hai, jiski chabbi ek muddaat hue kho gayi hain... Jaab woh band pitara khulta hai, kisi zikr pe hum hustein hain, kisi pe chuppi sadh lete hain, lekin woh ek zikr na tum karte ho na mein, jo hain kahi dabi hui un dhundlayi hui si yaadoo mein...

I had lost my voice In the din of crowd Among those people Who lusted for power They wounded me badly Scalded my flesh With hot iron rods Of crude words and phrase. I endured them still Waiting it to end one day The day their soul Will call for peace But noise is all That they knew Used it in force To drown my voice. They shouted And shouted The tempo was up I have had enough And told them to Shut up Now I know a peace so rare It ties my heart to the sky up there.

As I shed an old me And close some chapters forever I stare at the blank page and wonder What should I begin here The empty spaces The hollowness The rawness of my self Makes me me That one true self I had never been able to be I know I will stumble I know I will fall I know I will make mistakes But walk I must Walk the line With courage and faith within And along the way I will find everything I truly ever deserved A new beginning I am writing now And I am writing it only with love.

I wish someone to serenade me With a beautiful song less known, I wish someone to travel with me To the very edge of the world, I wish someone to read to me A poem that touches the heart, I wish someone to be with me When I look at the moon & the stars, I wish someone to enjoy with me The cool breeze, clouds & rain, I wish someone to look at me And find his soul in mine. 

For a horrific few seconds you realise that this could be it, you could have been left all alone in this wide whole world, with no real relation to call your own. You are just there, standing all alone at a busy cross-road while scores of people pass you by. They are not bothered about you being there. You just stand there, in silence, trying to assimilate the fact that you are all alone. As tears roll down, and the sinking feeling of being alone hits you hard, you try to find someone who could just be there besides you. It is not a need, it is a want of someone to be there with you. You are enough for yourself, you love your own being, you are strong enough to carry your own burden on your shoulders. You know you don’t need anyone. Surely, you don’t. As you finally understand the difference between ‘Need’ and ‘Want’, you say it out loud, “I want you, not need you.”