Laugh out loud

I have never been good at expressing my emotions or even acknowledging other people’s emotions, for that matter. I think it has to do with how I shield myself and get into the cocoon of my own world, afraid of being hurt or being abused. It might be oddly comforting to be nonchalant rather than express what you are really feeling at that moment. Or maybe, growing up, no one really knew how to handle my emotions and everyone might have just settled into a rhythm of zero emotions from my end.

I am always the calm one at home, with friends and family, the negotiator, the listener, the problem solver. But when I am the one needing help, I often struggle to ask for one. Even if I am offered, I don’t like to take it up, because somewhere down the line I know that help is not for free, there will be strings attached to it.  

I could see people for who they are. I can read their intentions. Previously, it used to bother me, not so much now.

Now, I see them dance in their own pool of lies, as they think they have supremely overpowered the other person. I remain silent and don’t waste my energy to call them out. I look at them and smile internally. They just don’t know what they are doing, do they?

Over the years I have realised, the point is not being serious about things, it is actually being non-serious about everything in life. Give adequate focus to problems, but not make them your life essence. Have fun at every moment.

Create drama. Laugh, a lot. I mean a lot, especially when at the lowest ebb.

Today, I want to laugh out loud.