Wipe the slate clean

-

If you could start again from the beginning what would you do? If you are given a choice to wipe your slate clean and start from the word 'go' what all will you change in your life? Often, we have a long list of regrets that we want to forget, there are things we wanted to do but couldn't, some mistakes we wanted to rectify. Whatever happened in the past cannot be changed, but living in regret forever or cursing oneself or feeling bad about the decisions that were not taken isn't the solution. 

If you truly want to start over and wipe the slate clean, start with forgiveness. No, not forgiving others kind, but forgiving yourself, the most difficult kind of forgiveness. It is often easy to forgive others, but to forgive your own self, that's the most difficult thing to do, especially if you are someone with a strong sense of conscience. However, if you do not forgive yourself, you will never be able to find out who you are, as you will always be under the burden of your guilt, justified or not, that's secondary. 

I know it's tough. I have been there. When I wanted to forgive myself, I didn't know what to do. As I introspected, I realized I was doing what I thought was right at that moment. And, when I knew I had screwed up, I didn't know how to make everything alright. Sometimes, when I tried, I made everything even worse. So, I realized, no matter what I will do, I will make some or the other mistake, I will hurt someone or the other. There cannot be a perfect me, and even if I try my best to put everything alright I cannot control everything. So, the best thing to do, thus, is to accept what it is, and forgive myself for whatever I have done, knowingly or unknowingly, rather than living in guilt forever. Yes, of course, I promised to learn from it and hopefully, not repeat it again. That was the learning, and that was enough. That helped me to forgive myself, and I continue to do so, after every mistake that I make these days. Yes, I know I will still make mistakes, but I need to also allow myself that space to make them and find enough courage to forgive myself for them too. 

Maybe, that's what is mindful living, is it? 

Beyond the jargons, guess, it is about freeing yourself from everything, including the accumulated guilt. Go ahead, wipe the slate clean.

And hey, a 100 bad days made a 100 good stories...

Comments

  1. Cassmob (Pauleen)April 28, 2023 at 5:29 AM

    Wise words indeed. Being kind and forgiving to yourself is very challenging.

    Https://cassmobfamilyhistory.com

    ReplyDelete

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

Apology is just saying ‘I am sorry!’

-
Image
Apologizing is not an art. And, come to think of it, it is not even a science. It is just an expression of admitting to that stupidly dumb thing you had done, which could have been otherwise avoided. Then, why is it so hard to apologize? There could be multiple reasons, but the prime one is you know you have screwed up, you don’t want to face the ramifications, there could be explosives at the other end, and you don’t want to basically face the music. But that’s the escapist route. I think the best way to apologize is to apologize the moment you know you have done something wrong. Don’t linger it. Because not only you are prolonging someone’s pain, but you are also pushing your luck too far! Next comes the question, how? That’s simple too. Just tell the person that you are sorry. There isn’t any need for prolonged explanations, bouquets of flowers, boxes of chocolates or expensive gifts. A simple and sincere ‘I am sorry’ is enough to let the other person know that you had
Read more

Badrinath Ki Dulhania…A great movie on clichés

-
Image
Brides in India are supposed to bring loads and loads and loads of dowry. That’s the truth of the entire country – be it the hinterland Bharat or the upwardly mobile India. A girl is still a liability, and boy an asset. And yes, we don’t believe in family planning, unless we are lucky enough to have sons during the first few attempts. To hell with Beti Bachao Beti Padhao! We are here to raise a generation of girls who are taught to remain in their ‘ maryada ’ and boys trained to become MCPs. Now imagine such a heavy dosage theme turned into an entertaining movie. Did I hear impossible? With Badrinath Ki Dulhania, that’s exactly what newbie director Shashank Khaitan made possible. In its outer packaging, this rom-com looks fun and entertaining, but the deeper themes of dowry, gender inequality, women emancipation, sexism, interweaved in the movie portray the condition of the society we still live in. It is in this very ‘progressive’ India the protagonist Vaidehi (another
Read more

Questions

-
Image
Let me ask some questions today, some uncomfortable questions that we bury deep within us as we don't want to face them. And no, I am not providing any answers. 1. What will you do if you lose someone - to death - whom you loved the most in your life? 2. Will you become bitter or accept it and move on with your life, realizing death is really not the end? 3. Will that impact your other relationships in the future? 4. How will you cope up with that immense lose that created so much darkness in your life that only with the return of that particular sunshine could you see a path ahead? 5. How long would you mourn for that person? 6. Would you hate God for what He did to you? 7. Will it make the situation all the more difficult if that person had sacrificed his/her life for you? 8. Would that make you look at love with contempt? 9. Or would you embark on a journey to find that lost love? 10. What will you do if you find that person again?
Read more