Diligence

How diligent should I be to reap benefits from my efforts? Does a year or two count, or do I need to be consistently straining myself year-after-year to achieve the desired results?

When I see sportspeople, academics or scientists pouring their entire energies to reach their goals, I often wonder, “Is that even worth it?” After all, nothing is really going to matter. We are born, we live and we die. Beyond that, everything is just a pretend play, isn’t it?

It’s this pretention that we enact so diligently. The next gold medal. The top rank in the university. The Nobel Prize. Our rate of diligence is exactly proportional to what we want to accomplish.

These days, I see my diligence waning. The things that excited me once, does not anymore.

No, my brain hasn’t stopped running a thousand simulations for finding a solution for the business problems. In fact, I find it tough to stop it at times. The sheer kick of providing an answer to a question, fixing a solution or finding the missing piece to a puzzle – is the ultimate dopamine release.

And, yes, it is momentary. It is exhausting. It is inane.

What is it that I am looking for?

Maybe, diligence for working towards something new or diligence to not do anything at all! “To be, or not to be, that is the question”.