Pain

What's the point of going through pain? Why does one need to go through it - whether physical or emotional? Some may say the endurance makes one strong. But for what? After all, we are all moving towards our end, so what's the point of this pain? How does enduring pain make any difference to our death? 

As I asked the above, the answer also surfaced. Pain is not just individual. It is also a catalyst. I can't feel someone's pain, that's personal, but what I can feel is empathy and show compassion for that person. Guess, that's another purpose of pain, to understand if the other person is empathetic enough about someone's pain. 

Other than the physical pain, there is emotional pain too. And somehow women have been able to address this better due to the leeway they get to express their emotions freely. Men, however, have been raised to bottle up their emotions. Larke rote nahi, is such a cliched. Kyu bhai, unko dard nahi hota? Men are not "allowed" to cry even if they get hurt physically. "Man up" "Mard ban" and the most deplorable of all "mard ko dard nahi hota." When Federer retired and shared an emotional farewell alongside Nadal, it was such a beautiful moment. Two grown men, highly accomplished, crying. They showed the world that even men can be vulnerable, that it pains them in equal measure and that it is okay for them to shed tears even in public. 

A dear (male) friend said the other day, "We (men) look for outlets for our emotions and somehow being with our partners, especially in an intimate manner, help us being vulnerable. That makes us let go off a lot of our constraints." I found that statement saddening in so many levels.

Saddening because besides the fact that we are overlooking the emotional needs of men, it also shows how much alienation we are creating between the two genders. If one is not able to communicate openly with the other about their fears, desires, failures, dreams, et al, then what's the point? If you tell boys to shut the fuck up everytime they cry and take emotional reactions of girls for granted, then this is what the society will be - depressed and suicidal. Actually, that's what it has become now. Everyone is scared and no one wants to say that aloud. 

Women I still believe are in somewhat better position as they have their support system which gives them the safe space to be vulnerable and release their pent up emotions. How many men hug each other and cry their heart out? In fact, how many men hug their partners and cry their heart out? If they could, guess, so many problems wouldn't even exist in life. 

People may argue, but such a system worked perfectly in the yesteryears. Yes, Baba Adam, it worked then because life wasn't this complex. Human beings were not this evolved. 

If we, both men and women, do not balance both the masculine and feminine sides, we will never achieve balance within. As much as women need to be logical in their approach, men also need to show their emotions without the fear of any bias. That's the only way out, and somehow that way is through the purgatory of pain! 

So about the orginal question of this blog - once the balance is achieved, though through pain, guess that would make our lives beautiful and even give us the needed peace by the time we would be ready to go, finally. 

PS: Another musing, being a part of this superfluous society, where everything is tinted, masked, wonder if we also express happiness genuinely?