Finding you

What do you do when all of a sudden you get a horrible sunken feeling? As if, something has just slipped off your hands like sand between your fingers, and as much as you try to hold it, you lose it in equal proportion. How do you deal with such a mood swing, when just out of blue you feel sad, irritated, frustrated and above all angry, not at the world, but at yourself, for letting yourself get into such a position, for taking all those wrong decisions? You feel sick at how people behave around you, some with their fake smiles, some with fake concerns and some just plain mean, trying to get a laugh at your expense. What do you do in such a case?

And then again, deep inside you know, this is all shit, that such things does not really mean anything. That you are wasting your precious energy by going through such stupid emotions. But, don’t blame anyone else for it, it is all your doing, you are letting it effect you. When you know better then why do you get effected by it? Why can’t you keep your ego under check? Let the world say whatever, do whatever, they don’t know yet, but you do. It’s your knowing. And at a time, when you are moving towards truth, when you are searching for something obsessively, when you are trying to find some semblance and meaning in life, it is senseless to let anyone and anything effect you.

The reality that we see and feel with our eyes and ears everyday is just an illusion. Reality is beyond it and that we all know. It is this reality that we are seeking day in and out. Funny part is, we don’t really need to go far to find it, just look inside.

You will find you waiting for you for so long.