Brutally honest reviews of top networking apps by an annoyingly opinionated single woman!
That's me. Annoyingly opinionated. And, yes, single too :p
All the single men and women out there would identify with this. When you are single, networking apps become your lifeline, it kind of gives you hope that all is not 'lost' in the world after all!
So, here's reviewing some such apps in a brutally honest manner, laced with dollops of sarcasm. If you are easily offended, do read this now!
Facebook makes us depressive and then demonic - Of course we feel crushed every time we see those cute little babies or lovey dovey couples on their honeymoon. What do you think we are, emotionless robots? But hold it, we also carefully plan our revenge. We display our awesomeness with our cool swag and sexy profile pics, that amazing solo trip we undertook, weekend hangouts and parties, and an unashamedly blatant showcase of everything and anything new. Oh! Yes, it's all planned baby!
Twitter is our external brain - We have an inherent need to be re-assured that we are intelligent and because that 'significant other' is missing whom we could have bored with our non-stop fascinating chatter, we turn to Twitter, or get turned on by Twitter. Hey, isn't Twitter kind of sapiosexual! Now, we rattle our brains to come up with something funny or interesting or pensive in 140 characters, editing and re-editing our thoughts to the extent that we don't stop unless we shout 'Eureka' unlike Archimedes (difference being we don't run like him dude!).
We use WhatsApp for work - That's actually the truth. Either we are using it for coordinating with our clients, boss, colleagues during the day or lamenting about our sad lives with our few still-there-to-give-us-their-shoulders-friends at night. And, if you catch us at the dead of the night on this app, well, that's because we are either snooping on our exes, or checking out our crushes, or simply trying to mute that conversation the American chachi is having with the Canadian moushi on home remedies for curing loosies!
We are the 'inventors' of hashtags on Insta - We squeeze out our creativity on Instagram just as we squeeze the toothpaste tube when it is at its fag end! Because we have a smartphone and we think ourselves no less than a Raghu Rai or Steve McCurry (in my case), we click whatever is clickable or even-not, and post it with a hundred non-imaginable and difficult to comprehend hashtags. And, yes, I am confident that all those incomprehensible hashtags are the creation of my kind (singles that is) because, hashtags are all we can think of as we don't need to dabble with dippers, dinners and dishes!
We have an off-and-on relationship with Tinder - We secretly hate it. It just reminds us of the Yahoo! Messenger days. Seriously, it takes immense self-control not to type ASL the moment you 'match' with someone. On bad days, Tinder is our best friend, and with determined zeal we log on to it to find someone out there (nearby, of course), and end up just swiping left, left and left. And, at a moment when you were getting bored out, you burst out laughing when you find someone like the guy below, and remind yourself, it is after all worthwhile to be on this app, just for the heck of it :D
All the single men and women out there would identify with this. When you are single, networking apps become your lifeline, it kind of gives you hope that all is not 'lost' in the world after all!
So, here's reviewing some such apps in a brutally honest manner, laced with dollops of sarcasm. If you are easily offended, do read this now!
Facebook makes us depressive and then demonic - Of course we feel crushed every time we see those cute little babies or lovey dovey couples on their honeymoon. What do you think we are, emotionless robots? But hold it, we also carefully plan our revenge. We display our awesomeness with our cool swag and sexy profile pics, that amazing solo trip we undertook, weekend hangouts and parties, and an unashamedly blatant showcase of everything and anything new. Oh! Yes, it's all planned baby!
Twitter is our external brain - We have an inherent need to be re-assured that we are intelligent and because that 'significant other' is missing whom we could have bored with our non-stop fascinating chatter, we turn to Twitter, or get turned on by Twitter. Hey, isn't Twitter kind of sapiosexual! Now, we rattle our brains to come up with something funny or interesting or pensive in 140 characters, editing and re-editing our thoughts to the extent that we don't stop unless we shout 'Eureka' unlike Archimedes (difference being we don't run like him dude!).
We use WhatsApp for work - That's actually the truth. Either we are using it for coordinating with our clients, boss, colleagues during the day or lamenting about our sad lives with our few still-there-to-give-us-their-shoulders-friends at night. And, if you catch us at the dead of the night on this app, well, that's because we are either snooping on our exes, or checking out our crushes, or simply trying to mute that conversation the American chachi is having with the Canadian moushi on home remedies for curing loosies!
We are the 'inventors' of hashtags on Insta - We squeeze out our creativity on Instagram just as we squeeze the toothpaste tube when it is at its fag end! Because we have a smartphone and we think ourselves no less than a Raghu Rai or Steve McCurry (in my case), we click whatever is clickable or even-not, and post it with a hundred non-imaginable and difficult to comprehend hashtags. And, yes, I am confident that all those incomprehensible hashtags are the creation of my kind (singles that is) because, hashtags are all we can think of as we don't need to dabble with dippers, dinners and dishes!
We have an off-and-on relationship with Tinder - We secretly hate it. It just reminds us of the Yahoo! Messenger days. Seriously, it takes immense self-control not to type ASL the moment you 'match' with someone. On bad days, Tinder is our best friend, and with determined zeal we log on to it to find someone out there (nearby, of course), and end up just swiping left, left and left. And, at a moment when you were getting bored out, you burst out laughing when you find someone like the guy below, and remind yourself, it is after all worthwhile to be on this app, just for the heck of it :D
This is such a true post and missed my days being single :(
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In your words only..."brutally honest"
ReplyDeleteThoughtful & seems like personally experienced blog..
Keep on writing ����